We shall not discuss it except to tell you the following.  When a 5 year old tells you "It's okay with me if you kill it," in reference to their Satan-spawned rooster?  You know that the fowl is indeed foul.  But I digress.

I always grew up thinking that lasagna was a buttload of work.  Given how the Mom-unit always had frozen, browned ground beef in the freezer I'm not sure if I buy that.  It's far more likely that she refused on principle to attempt to make it since she never learned to cook and hated to do so; condemning us kids to a childhood of burnt fish sticks that scraped our palates raw (literally), ham boiled until it was grey* and vegetables that had the consistency of, but less color or flavor than, than those found in Gerber's finest baby foods. Now I know better.  Though, as she would be the first to mention "none of you died of starvation, did you?"

Anyway anyway… the lasagna.  This is much more kick ass than the broccoli one I posted earlier. That one was good, but I like this one a lot more.  Unless you're a big fan of the flavor of meat in your lasagna, you probably won't miss it in here. The mushrooms have much the same texture.

Zucchini & red pepper lasagna

Ingredients
1 tub low-fat ricotta cheese
1 1/2 cups low-fat mozzarella cheese
2 eggs
3 Tbs pesto
2 cups sliced zucchini (about 1 large or 2-3 small)
2 cups sliced baby Portabella mushrooms
3 cloves minced garlic
2 Tbs olive oil
2 jars marinara sauce (40 oz total) I like Bertolli
9 no boil lasagna noodles
1 jar roasted red peppers, drained and chopped or
3 red peppers peppers roasted at home

Instructions
Combine ricotta, eggs, pesto and 1/2 cup cheese and set aside.  Heat the oil over high heat in a big-ass skillet.  Reduce heat to med-low and saute the succhini and ‘shrooms until some of zucchini is browned and the ‘shrooms have given off some of their liquid.  Add the garlic and saute another 2 minutes or so. Take off heat and set aside.

Spread a cup of marinara on the bottom of a rectangular baking dish. Put three noddles on top and cover with another cup or so of sauce. Spread half the zucchini/mushroom mixture onto the sauce and top with half of the roasted peppers and half of the ricotta cheese mixture.  Cover with three more noodles and repeat the layers.  Top with remaining three noodles and remaining sauce.

Cover and bake for 45-50 minutes at 375 degrees. Uncover. Sprinkle with remaining mozzarella cheese and bake for another 10 minutes or until cheese is melted. Let stand 15 minutes before serving**.

* To be fair, the gray ham was Pop’s doing.  He refused to eat any meat that had a pinkish cast. In his mind that meant that he and the fam would die of Trichinosis or Salmonella poisoning. Indeed, any meat product had to be cooked well past the overdone stage.  I’ll leave you to contemplate the full horror of what burgers or steak on the grill tasted like.

** I can’t stress this enough!  There’s a ton of liquid in the marinara, zucchini and mushrooms.  If you don’t wait for it to be reabsorbed, you’ll have lasagna soup. 

I’m not a fan of recipes with 90000 pictures of every single step but in this recipe I’ll be posting several.

Ingredients:

Cookie:
1-1/2C flour
1/2 C cocoa
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2C sugar
1/2 C brown sugar
1 stick butter, softened
1/4 C creamy peanut butter NOT the natural kind
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla

Combine dry ingredients except sugars.  Set aside.

Cream butter and peanut butter with sugars.  Add egg and vanilla.  Add dry ingredients and mix well.  Batter will be very stiff.  Set aside.  Make filling.

Filling:

3/4 C creamy peanut butter NOT the natural kind
3/4 C confectioners sugar

Mix into a very stiff dough.  Use a measuring teaspoon to scoop out bits of dough.  Roll into 1/2” balls and place on waxed paper.

Assembly:
This dough is easy to handle.  You don’t need to butter your hands or anything.  Grab a ball of chocolate dough about this big:

Flatten it out between your palms.  (It’s a very pliable dough.):

Place a ball of peanut butter in the center of the chocolate circle:

Bring up the middle on both sides as if you were making a turnover:

Then bring the ends in towards the middle:

Til the little peanut ball disappears:

Smooth out the chocolate-peanut butter disk.  Just pat it a bit:

Place 2-1/2” apart on a greased half-sheet pan and flatten down a little.  These do not spread much at all.  Bake at 350° for 9 minutes and ONLY 9 minutes.  They will be done at 9 minutes.  Honest.  Let cool a minute on the pan and then transfer to a wire rack.  Cool completely then store in a covered container or ziplock.

These cookies are not a crunchy cookie although they will have a little crunch on the bottom and around the edges.  If you try to make them crunchy by overbaking them, they’ll be dry as a bone.  You have been warned.

I get about 20 cookies at the size I make them but you can probably get an even two dozen if you take smaller hunks of chocolate and just flatten it out more.  I always end up with way too many peanut butter balls.  The kids used to eat them back in the day.  Now I just toss them out...except for maybe one :-D

So peppers were a buck apiece last week and chicken thighs were on sale too. Regular stuffed peppers aren’t high on my list of things to eat, but these were pretty darn tasty.  They looked pretty too.

Ingredients
4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
1/4 cup olive oil
2 cloves minced garlic
2 Tbs pesto
2 flat bottomed bell peppers

Directions

Combine the oil, garlic and pesto and toss into a plastic bag. Add the chicken and marinate in the fridge for up to an hour.

Cut the tops off the peppers. Remove the ribs and seeds and brush the insides with a bit of oil, then season with salt and pepper.  Take the chicken from the marinade and roll up jelly roll style. Stuff two thighs into each pepper and place in a baking pan.

Bake at 350 until chicken is done--about 45-50 minutes.

Serve with rice (fried would be extra nice) and sauted veggies.

Ingredients

3 Tbs Mayonaise
1 Tbs Sriracha (Rooster) sauce
1 small red onion, thinly sliced (a mandoline if you’re consistency challenged like I am)
3 Tbs rice vinegar
1/2 Tbs sugar
1/4 tsp salt
3 Tbs soy sauce
1-2 Tbs lime juice
1 anchovy filet, chopped (optional)
2 smallish catfish fillets (about 1/3 lb each)
2 toasted ciabatta or hoagie rolls

Stir the mayo and rooster sauce together, then cover and toss in the fridge.

Whisk together the rice wine vinegar, sugar and salt, then pour into a ziplock bag.  Toss the onions into the bag and squeeze out all the air before sealing, then toss into the fridge next to the mayo.

Combine the soy sauce, lime juice, anchovy in a quart-sized freezer bag, Add the fish, squeeze out the air and seal; then toss in the fridge so it can join the condiment party.  Let marinade for 20 or so minutes.

Heat a skillet over high heat and dry the fish on some towels.  Once it’s good ‘n’ hot, add 2 Tbs canola oil and sear the filets (1-2 minutes per side worked for me).  Spread the mayo on both sides of the bun and place a heaping bunch of the pickled onions on the top half of each bun before serving.

Note:  The pickled onions are crazy delicious. They’re gonna be going onto a lot of sandwiches around these parts from now on and may even be eaten by themselves.  The Rooster mayo is spicy, but not as bad as you’d think. If you’ve got tender tastebuds, add the rooster by quarter tablespoons.  The china was liberated from the fabulous Wright Quad Cafeteria at Indiana University.

Broccoli & Three Cheese Lasagna

Ingredients
1 tub low-fat Ricotta Cheese (15 oz)
1 lb broccoli florets, steamed & chopped (I had leftovers, use frozen; chopped and dried otherwise)
2 1/2 cups 2% shredded mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
salt & pepper
1 jar marinara sauce (16 oz) I like Bertolli Tomato & Basil
1/2 cup heavy cream (sorry… no substitution here)
8 no-boil lasagna noodles
cooking spray

Preheat oven to 400.  Combine ricotta, mozzarella, 1/4 cup of Parmesan, 1/2 tsp each of salt and pepper, and broccoli in a big bowl.  In a smaller bowl stir the marinara and cream together.

Spoon a thin layer of sauce over the bottom of an 8 inch square baking pan.  Cover with two noodles, then top with 1/4 of the sauce and 1/3 of the broccoli-cheese mixture.  Repeat twice.  Top with remaining two noodles and sauce.  Cover with remaining Parmesan and mozzarella.

Spray a sheet of foil with cooking spray and cover the lasagna before sliding into the oven.  Bake for 35-40 minutes or until noodles are tender.  Uncover and bake another 10-15 minutes or until edges begin to brown and the cheese is gooey and bubbly.

Serves 6

Chipotle Lime Chicken
Ingredients
· 1 cup sliced onion
· 1 cup chopped celery
· 1 cup chopped carrots
· 4 pounds skinless chicken thighs
· Salt and freshly ground black pepper
· 1 (15-ounce) can tomato sauce
· 1/4 cup lime juice
· 2 tablespoon minced chipotle chiles in adobo sauce with 2 teaspoon sauce from can
· 2 cloves garlic, minced
· 1 avocado, diced
· 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves
· Lime wedges, for garnish

Directions
Arrange onion, celery and carrots in bottom of slow cooker. Season chicken thighs with salt and pepper and arrange over vegetables.
In a medium bowl, whisk together tomato sauce, lime juice, chipotle chiles with sauce, and garlic. Pour mixture over chicken.
Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours or high for 3 to 4 hours. Serve over rice (recipe below) and top with diced avocado and cilantro.

Ingredients
· 2 cups instant brown rice
· 1 (14-ounce) can coconut milk
· 1 cup water
· 1 (15-ounce) can red beans, rinsed and drained
· 1 teaspoon dried thyme
· zest of one small lime
· 1/4 cup chopped scallions
· Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions
In a medium saucepan, combine rice, coconut milk, water, beans, thyme, and lime zest. Set pan over high heat and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer 5 minutes, until liquid is mostly absorbed. Fold in scallions and season to taste with salt and pepper.

Plate:  California Poppies for the Santa Fe Railroad by Syracuse China

Buffalo Sloppy Joes

Ingredients:
2 Tbs olive oil
2 lbs ground chicken or turkey breast
1 carrot, peeled and chopped or grated
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 onion, finely chopped
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped
2 to 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped or grated
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 Tbs red wine vinegar
2 Tbs brown sugar
1 Tbs Worcestershire sauce
1/4 - 1/3 cup hot sauce (or more to taste)
3-4 Tbs tomato paste
1 cup chicken stock
8 hamburgerburger buns
1 cup bleu cheese crumbles
2 dill pickles, chopped

Instructions
Heat oil in a large saucepan over med-high heat.  Add ground chicken and cook for 5 or 6 minutes, breaking up the big hunks. Add the onion, celery, carrots garlic and jalapeno pepper and cook for another maybe 8 minutes.

In the meantime, combine the broth, tomato paste, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce and hot sauce and pour the whole mess into the chicken/vegetable mixture. Simmer for 15-20 minutes or until it reaches a nice sticky consistency.  Top with bleu cheese and chopped pickles.

China: Rose Garden by Lenox

Chocolate Brownie Cupcakes with Peanut Butter Icing

Cupcakes
3/4 stick unsalted butter, cut into 4 pieces
1 1/4 cup semi-sweet morsels, divided
3 oz unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup flour
1/3 cup chopped, toasted walnuts (optional)
1/4 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350.  Put 8 or 9 cupcake liners in your cupcake tins.  Throw the butter, 1/2 cup chocolate chips and chopped unsweetened chocolate in a double boiler and stir until smooth and melty.  Remove the boiler to the countertop.  Whisk both sugars into the chocolate, then whisk in the eggs one at a time.  Follow with the vanilla, then the flour, walnuts, salt and remaining chocolate chips.

Divide the batter amongst the tins (about 1/2 cup each) and bake for about 20 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.  Transfer cupcakes to a rack to cool.  Once cooled, ice generously.

Frosting
1 cup powdered sugar
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter (not the natural kind)
1/2 stick unsalted butter, softened
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
4 Tbs whipping cream (more as needed)

Put the first four ingredients in a mixing bowl and beat until smooth.  Add whipping cream by teaspoons until the mixture reaches a nice spreadable consistency for frosting.

Notes: After trying this, I think I’d make this in mini-muffin tins because they’re too much for some people to eat at once.  Also, stirring 3/4 cup peanut butter chips into the batter instead of chocolate chips would be bucketloads of awesome.

China: Southampton Gardens by Lenox

Lots of people (you know, the ones who have lives) make this with refrigerated biscuit dough.  That offends my sensibilities.  It’s just not the same so since I have no life, I make my own dough.  Way, way better than what that dough boy dude puts out.

Ingredients:

Dough
1-1/3 C warm milk (120°)
4 TBSP butter
2-1/4 tsp yeast (1 packet)
1/4 C sugar
2 eggs at room temperature
4-5 C flour

Melt butter in milk.  Lightly beat eggs.  Put both in the mixer, add yeast and sugar and swirl around a bit.  Add flour a cup at a time until you get a nice soft dough that is no longer sticky.  Let the mixer knead it for about 7 minutes.  Turn out, form into a ball, place in a greased bowl turning to coat the top.  Cover with a towel and let rise for 2 to 2-1/2 hours. 

Filling:
3/4 C brown sugar
1/4 C sugar
1 stick melted butter
1 tsp cinnamon

Sauce:
2/3 C brown sugar
3 TBSP butter
3 TBSP cream or milk
2 tsp cinnamon

Punch down, turn out onto a floured surface and shape into a rectangle.  Slice the dough lengthwise then break off pieces to make 1” balls.  Pour about half of the sauce into the bottom of a bundt or tube pan (not the kind with a removable bottom because oh the mess you will make!) Dip the balls into the melted butter then into the sugar mixture and place in the pan making about 3 layers.  Only fill the pan about half way!  It won’t look like much but after it rises it will more than fill the pan.  Let rise for about an hour or so. 

Reheat the remaining sauce then pour over the risen dough.  You don’t have to use all the sauce but why wouldn’t you??  Seriously.  Bake for about 30 minutes in a 350° oven.  Turn out onto a plate immediately letting the sauce run over the top.  If you wait to turn it out, the sugar will harden and it will never come out...in that case, go find the chisel because you’ll need it.

Let this cool for a good 30 minutes because the sugar sauce is basically liquid napalm.  Really.

Make sure you remove it from the pan right away or you’ll be sorry, I am so not kidding.  Aslo make sure you let it cool before digging in.  You have not felt real pain until you have molten sugar hit the roof of your mouth and stick there! 

Ingredients:

DOUGH
3 egg yolks + 1 whole egg at room temperature
1/3 C sugar
1 stick butter, melted
3/4 C warm milk
3-1/2 to 4 C flour
1 pkg yeast (2 1/4 tsp)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp lemon zest

Generously butter a 13x9 pan.

Add yeast to warm milk (120°).  Let stand.  Beat eggs with sugar and butter until well blended.  Add milk/yeast and beat to combine.  Add salt and zest.  Slowly add flour 1/2 cup at a time until a soft dough forms and pulls away from the bowl.  Dough should not be sticky.  Knead for 7 minutes until smooth and elastic.  I my KitchenAid because it kneads for me.  Just let the mixer run on speed 2 for 7 minutes.  Form into a smooth ball and place in a greased bowl, turning to grease the top.  Let rise an hour or two until doubled.  Make filling.

Turn dough out onto floured surface.  Form into a rectangle by pressing with your fingers and palms...not pulling!  Use a rolling pin to get it about 1/4” thick and as uniform a rectangle as possible.  If the dough snaps back, let it rest a few minutes then roll again.  Brush dough with the 3 TBSP of melted butter from the filling ingredients staying clear about 1” from the top.  Use it all!  Sprinkle on the filling evenly and spread it out with your hands.  Use it all!  Then pat the filling into the dough a bit.  Start with the edge closest to you and roll tightly.  The more rolls you get the better.  It might seem like a narrow log.  That’s ok.  Turn the log so that the seam is facing up and crimp the edges to seal.  Seal it good!

FILLING:
1C brown sugar (I use dark brown because I like the deeper flavour)
1 TBSP ground cinnamon
Pinch of salt
3 TBSP melted butter
Optional:
1/2 C raisins
1/2 C finely chopped pecans

Combine all except butter.  Stir well.

Using a sharp, serrated knife, cut the log in half.  Cut each half into 6 even slices.  Some people use dental floss to get nice cuts but I like the serrated knife.  If you don’t press hard, they won’t squish.  Place each slice seam side up in greased pan.  Let rise half an hour to 45 minutes ONLY!  The should look like the picture below...nicely pouffy.  I like to let mine do a little rise first because the refrigerator will greatly restrict yeast growth.  And it seems to me, the less they have to rise in the morning, the quicker I dig in to a nice warm cinnamon roll!  I’m always thinking.  Seriously. 

Wrap them loosely with plastic wrap, not touching the tops of the rolls.  Put them in the fridge overnight - up to about 18 hours.  In the morning, take them out and remove the plastic wrap.  Cover with a towel and put them in a nice warm spot.  I just turn my oven on for 10 minutes then turn it off.  I put the pan on top of the oven.  Let rise for an hour or so.  Since they’re cold and the pan is cold, it will take them awhile just to come to room temp.  They will pop up in the oven even if you don’t wait the whole hour but try to wait.  I like to sprinkle a bit more cinnamon sugar over the top because, hey, what can it hurt!  Bake for about 25-30 minutes until they’re golden brown and your house smells like what I hope heaven smells like.  Make the glaze.

GLAZE:
1 TBSP corn syrup
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 C sifted confectioners sugar
2 tablespoons cream or milk
2 TBSP melted butter

Put all liquids in a bowl.  Add confectioners sugar until you get a good drizzling consistency.  I use a fork to drizzle it over the warm rolls.  Don’t be stingy!

Serve warm.  If you don’t eat them all (yeah, right) you can wrap individual rolls in plastic wrap and mic them for a few seconds later on and they’re practically good as new.